So before I begin, I wasn’t 100% sure if this is something I wanted to write about, but it was requested so I decided to go ahead and talk about it. This is something that could in the end maybe help others who not only have been bullied but even who have done the bullying. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been bullied,but I’ve never given my full story. This is my story: my bullying experience.
I was bullied from elementary school since 3rd grade until high school around 11th grade. Being bullied for that long really messes you up, but I’ll get into how it plays into my adult life later in this post. I don’t remember every single year and every single incident where the bullying happened, but I will do my best to inform you guys on the times I do remember.
Before I begin, I will start off by saying that I was one of the I guess “teachers’ pets” if you want to call it that. I never really got it trouble, always made good grades, and the teachers liked me so that already put me in not the best position when it came to how some of the other students felt about me. Around 3rd or 4th grade, there was a girl who would mess with me all the time. I don’t exactly know why, but do we always really know exactly why someone bullies others besides it being for their own harsh enjoyment? The one thing about her is that she would always try and pin my friend and me against each other…and it worked. I feel like kids argue over the smallest things and then make up almost immediately sometimes, which would almost always be the case, but each time was still a terrible time for me. Fast forward a little bit to 5th grade, I had a few people that weren’t fond of me, mostly because of the reason stated at the beginning of this section. I will never forget though, this one girl asked me in a hallway full of kids while we were in line if I had two stomachs. I’ve always been a bigger girl, including in elementary school. When she did this, my initial instinct is that I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t do that. I just had to kind of ignore the question despite me hurting inside.
Out of elementary, middle, and high school…middle school might have been the worst for me. I was bullied all throughout middle school, but the most memorable time start in 7th grade when I was bullied by this guy. He would mess with me when we were in line and everything. It was to the point where I had to tell someone about it…including my mom. I never wanted to tell my mom about my different bullying experiences because I was afraid that not only would I get bullied even more, but she would go up to the school, which would be the reason for me being bullied even more. Once the principal got involved, students tried to tell me that he did those things because he liked me. Let’s be real here guys. Yes, at that age, a lot of times kids can be a little more rough or playful when they liked someone but there is a limit. My next main bullying occurrence was in 8th grade. There were these two girls who were honestly the worst. The experience that I will never forget is when they took my purse. We were in class and I’m not sure if they wanted gum or something, but they wanted something I wouldn’t give them. So, they kept trying to take my purse…and eventually, they did and hid it in the chorus room. I will never 100% understand how they did that, but it’s a huge reason why I’m pretty protective over my stuff today.
High school was mostly the typical mean girl experience but was pretty bad from 10th grade until the end of 11th grade. Just girl always talking about me or what I wore (I would almost always be wearing something pink because it’s my favorite color). They would just snicker and do what mean girls do. At this point, it’s something I’m almost used to like it’s the norm(but it doesn’t make me feel any better).
Life After Bullying
Being older now, all those years of bullying has definitely affected me and how I am now. I’ve seen some people mock others who blame something that happened in elementary school for being the way they are as adults. What those people don’t realize is that those things really can go with you throughout your life, especially if that something has happened through most of your childhood. Because of being bullied, I’ve grown to become someone who’s really insecure. I don’t like to look at people at a lot when I walk, I don’t like to look at my reflection, and I’m definitely pretty protective over my stuff. I do get social anxiety a bit and I believe my years of bullying has something to do with that.
I do want to end this on a more high note and first say that, if you are someone that was a bully, then I hope you’ve grown out of it. Adults can be major bullies as well. Also, if you have a child and you suspect them to be the bully or being bullied…talk to them. Stay aware of what your children are doing and how they’re feeling because it can be hard as a child sometimes to talk to your parents about things like that. Finally, if you’re someone like me, know you can get through it. I’m fighting every day to fight my own thoughts and I will admit that I fail daily, but I still do things like taking a few full body pictures or wear a crop top and jeans. Even if you’re scared to do it, the most important thing is that you’re doing it and you should be proud of yourself for that.