About a couple of years ago…maybe around senior year in high school…I decided that in the future I wanted to get a tattoo. This is still something I want to do in the future. You may be wondering if I have tattoos already and the answer is no, which may make me seem crazy when I tell you what I want as my first (and maybe only) tattoo.
The tattoo that I’m thinking about getting is maybe a feather or a tree with the leaves of the tree or parts of the feather coming off and turning into birds flying away. Another idea that’s less work is simply an open cage with a bird flying out of it. Some examples are below:
Everyone has their own meaning for different tattoos. Maybe in one culture, a tattoo could mean death, but to another person it means life. The bird symbol alone to me means freedom. Each one of these tattoos, whichever one I choose, will mean that I’ve reached a point of freedom in my life. This is why I’m waiting to get one. It’s something that’s special to me. Once I feel like I’m ready to get that tattoo, that means I’ve become free in many different ways.
It’ll mean that I’m free to be myself. I currently live with very religious, sometimes restricting, grandparents and I can’t really be who I am. I can’t live in my 20’s the way I want. I can’t do crazy things (not too crazy), in which I learn not to do them again because it was actually stupid to do. I can’t walk around in my underwear, wear whatever without getting nagged, freely curse, drink a bottle of wine after a long day…the list goes on. I can’t be me, or even figure out exactly who “me” is. I love them with all my heart, but I feel trapped and I’ve felt that for a very long time. I’m sure my friends can agree because I talk to them about it all the time. They wonder how I do it, but I have no choice.
It’ll also mean that I’m free mentally. Free from depressive thoughts and my anxiety. I’ve talked about this on here before. My anxiety can be terrible. I hate I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach just for normal stuff like driving. It controls me a lot and makes doing things so constricting. This is a tricky one because these type of things do have the ability to come back, but I would at least have it in control for the most part. This symbol would mean that I no longer care if people are looking at me or talking about me when I’m walking by. It would mean that I’ve learned to get rid of my anxiety of driving on the high way or unfamiliar places and I can go anywhere I please. It would mean so much for me mentally and more.
I hope that I will be able to get this tattoo sooner than later, because in the end after all the pain from the needle, I’ll be able to look at it and remind myself every day that I did it…I made it through.