Before I begin, this post does have a trigger warning that I ask you to heed. I don’t want anyone triggered by this post, but there are things that need to be said, especially with what’s going on in the UK and what goes on here in the states, it being women’s history month, and with me being a woman myself. Please read the trigger warning below before proceeding.
Trigger warning: I will be talking about violence against women, including rape, so please stop reading if you feel that this post might trigger you.
This wasn’t my original post for today, but I felt as if I couldn’t let another day pass by where I didn’t at least say a little something about what’s been going on. I have a platform and I can’t let it go to waste. I don’t live in the UK, but I have a lot of other bloggers that I follow on social media that do, so I see a lot of UK news. To sum it up, a woman named Sarah Everard was missing and it turns out that she was murdered by a police officer. If you’d like more information, then you can do some searching online.
The only thought that can even come into mind is that…I’m tired. I’m tired as a woman and I’m double tired as a black woman. Women on Twitter then began sharing instances where they’ve felt unsafe around men and even sharing their rape cases. I couldn’t help but just feel so sad even as I think about my own instances where I’ve felt uneasy when there was a group of men. No woman should feel unsafe going for a walk, going to the store, or anywhere at all for that matter. We shouldn’t need all of these devices or see all these tactics online specifically targeted at how to stay safe AS A WOMAN.
Despite your race or where you live, women as a whole can relate to at least one thing…and that’s the moments where we’ve felt unsafe around men as a whole. We don’t need a thousand tactics on how to protect ourselves. Men need better tactics and lessons on how to treat women. Men need to grow up learning that therapy and sharing their feelings is necessary and not something that’s only for women. Men need to learn how to respect women and realize that, even if they didn’t grow up with the best father figure, that can’t continue being an excuse for behavior. Men need to learn that their egos don’t mean a damn thing.
Women are being killed for telling guys that they’re not interested. Yet, we’re told we’re crazy or “doing the most”. I’m not one to comment on certain Twitter posts but I look through the comments (always a mistake), and the number of comments I see from men trying so hard to make a point when women are pointing out how you can’t trust police like you should be able to is just astounding. Instead of going so hard trying to go against women, men need to work harder to protect us from their own kind. There are so many stories of trafficking, rape, abuse, etc. Some of these stories involving men from the victim’s own family.
Women can’t even speak up when they are assaulted because we don’t end up getting justice and now have potentially put ourselves in even more danger. Women are victim-blamed so constantly that there are some women who even begin to believe that it was their fault. They begin to think that maybe if they didn’t wear that crop top it wouldn’t have happened, but that’s not the case. Not an ounce of skin could be shown, but the curiosity of a man just has to come through and they’ll work hard trying to find out what’s underneath the layers.
There is so much to say on this that it can’t all be said in one post. If it was, then that would end up turning into a novel instead of a blog post. Also, if you just so happen to be a man reading this and you feel offended or as if you have something to object to, please know that you’re part of the problem and you need to get your sh*t together.
To keep this from getting too long, I will end by saying that one day, a woman will amp up the way she protects herself to a degree that men won’t have a chance to hurt her again or any other woman. Take that how you will, but if men don’t want to become part of the solution in protecting women and helping us get justice, then they will become part of our solution when we make sure that we’re not harmed or harmed again.
It saddens me that today’s young men aren’t being raised to respect women. As a mom of two young women, I have to wonder where is the equality we’ve been fighting for. It’s a scary world and I fear for my daughters’ safety. We shouldn’t have to feel that way!
We shouldn’t have to feel this way at all! It seems like whenever we make two steps forward, there are ignorant misogynists that put us 10 steps back. But we have to keep fighting and if these “men” don’t learn on their own that women will not stand down and we’re tougher than they want to believe, then they’ll just learn the hard way in the end.
Agreed. Men need to get their act together. You’re either part of the problem or part of the solution.
Exactly! Hit the nail right on the head 🙌🏾
Rebekah Charles says
So spot on. It’s really sad that today’s generation and even some men in the older generation were not brought knowing how to respect, treat, and protect a women. It’s super scary that some men have no remorse when it comes to this topic as well. Thanks so much for sharing hun.
It is so sad. They’ll learn the hard way to respect and take us seriously and we can’t say anything at all besides “I told you so”. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts ♥
Yes Yes YES!!! To all of this. But also that men shouldn’t be taught how to protect women – for that is also the problem – we are seen as the weaker sex and need saving/protecting. Just see us as human beings – with rights and feelings.
It was an incredibly hard week last week. We celebrated International Women’s day at the start. Megan is slated in the press for speaking up about being racially abused, expressing that palace life affected her mental health (as it would anyone). Mid week Sarah Everard is murdered and a copper is charged for her abduction and murder – women hold a vigil and that is trashed by the police (is it any wonder we cant trust the police?) and Mother’s Day to end. What a week for Women. I am so glad you wrote this.
Thank you xx
Yes, I wholeheartedly agree! We are just as strong, honestly stronger, and are capable of protecting ourselves. It’s definitely such a crazy time right now for us women with all of this going on. I saw that about the police and I’m amazed, but of course not surprised. And the people defending it are just sick and part of the problem. I’m so glad that you enjoyed reading my post and that I was able to express thoughts that you could relate to. Thank you for reading and commenting ♥
Yes! Men need to get it together and do better. I hate that when I leave my house I have to worry about what I’m wearing and if it’ll attract unwanted attention. Me wearing shorts or sundress is not an invitation for harassment.
Exactly! What we shouldn’t have to worry about what we wear. It’s our bodies and it shouldn’t be our problem that some man can’t control his hormones. It’s ridiculous and I’m tired of it.
Larry Hoke says
This post is dead on accurate and true. It is also the first time I’ve read your work. I am a man who lived with one of those knuckle dragging Neanderthals who believed women (and kids) were property that he could do whatever he wanted to. I knew some of what he did as I witnessed it. What went on behind the scenes, I didn’t learn until mom was in her 90s. It was hell she tolerated for 22 years. Mom went to our pastor at one point to get him to tell my dad to stop the beatings. She was told dad was exercising his biblical duties; that SHE needed to be a better wife and obey dad’s rules! When mom told me that, I lost it.
This is very definitely a male dominated world, and I hate it. My two daughters can tell you how protective I was when they started dating. If I didn’t approve of the boy asking them out, they didn’t go out with them. I demanded they treat my girls with respect and act as gentlemen around them. To put it bluntly, I was a hardass about it.
I’ve posted a couple recent srticles on the subject of Sarah’s death and male dominance in religion and life. If you care to read them, check my blog at http://www.texas-writer74.com. Thank you for your voice and for speaking up. This problem needs the light day shown on it as much as possible. I’ve stated before, our women need to stand up, and keep standing, to voice concerns. The more women we see standing up, the easier it is to recognize the problem. Unfortunately, men don’t get it unless someone gets in their face.
Raise your voice, ma’am and God bless.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts! It’s terrible that your mom endured that and I’m so sorry she was so mistreated. I love that you were more focused on the guys and making sure they treated your daughter right. I know that some dads are so focused on how the girl is dressed and everything which will cause the boy to do something, which is totally wrong. I’ll make sure to check out your blog for sure! Thank you again for stopping by and although it was your first time reading, I hope it’s not your last! ♥