Before I begin, this post does have a trigger warning that I ask you to heed. I don’t want anyone triggered by this post, but there are things that need to be said, especially with what’s going on in the UK and what goes on here in the states, it being women’s history month, and with me being a woman myself. Please read the trigger warning below before proceeding.
Trigger warning: I will be talking about violence against women, including rape, so please stop reading if you feel that this post might trigger you.
This wasn’t my original post for today, but I felt as if I couldn’t let another day pass by where I didn’t at least say a little something about what’s been going on. I have a platform and I can’t let it go to waste. I don’t live in the UK, but I have a lot of other bloggers that I follow on social media that do, so I see a lot of UK news. To sum it up, a woman named Sarah Everard was missing and it turns out that she was murdered by a police officer. If you’d like more information, then you can do some searching online.
The only thought that can even come into mind is that…I’m tired. I’m tired as a woman and I’m double tired as a black woman. Women on Twitter then began sharing instances where they’ve felt unsafe around men and even sharing their rape cases. I couldn’t help but just feel so sad even as I think about my own instances where I’ve felt uneasy when there was a group of men. No woman should feel unsafe going for a walk, going to the store, or anywhere at all for that matter. We shouldn’t need all of these devices or see all these tactics online specifically targeted at how to stay safe AS A WOMAN.
Despite your race or where you live, women as a whole can relate to at least one thing…and that’s the moments where we’ve felt unsafe around men as a whole. We don’t need a thousand tactics on how to protect ourselves. Men need better tactics and lessons on how to treat women. Men need to grow up learning that therapy and sharing their feelings is necessary and not something that’s only for women. Men need to learn how to respect women and realize that, even if they didn’t grow up with the best father figure, that can’t continue being an excuse for behavior. Men need to learn that their egos don’t mean a damn thing.
Women are being killed for telling guys that they’re not interested. Yet, we’re told we’re crazy or “doing the most”. I’m not one to comment on certain Twitter posts but I look through the comments (always a mistake), and the number of comments I see from men trying so hard to make a point when women are pointing out how you can’t trust police like you should be able to is just astounding. Instead of going so hard trying to go against women, men need to work harder to protect us from their own kind. There are so many stories of trafficking, rape, abuse, etc. Some of these stories involving men from the victim’s own family.
Women can’t even speak up when they are assaulted because we don’t end up getting justice and now have potentially put ourselves in even more danger. Women are victim-blamed so constantly that there are some women who even begin to believe that it was their fault. They begin to think that maybe if they didn’t wear that crop top it wouldn’t have happened, but that’s not the case. Not an ounce of skin could be shown, but the curiosity of a man just has to come through and they’ll work hard trying to find out what’s underneath the layers.
There is so much to say on this that it can’t all be said in one post. If it was, then that would end up turning into a novel instead of a blog post. Also, if you just so happen to be a man reading this and you feel offended or as if you have something to object to, please know that you’re part of the problem and you need to get your sh*t together.
To keep this from getting too long, I will end by saying that one day, a woman will amp up the way she protects herself to a degree that men won’t have a chance to hurt her again or any other woman. Take that how you will, but if men don’t want to become part of the solution in protecting women and helping us get justice, then they will become part of our solution when we make sure that we’re not harmed or harmed again.