Dear diary,

I’ve talked about the journey with finding myself again in diary entry #59, and based on where I was in my journey when I wrote that, I’m not any closer to that goal now. Granted, it was April when that post was published and it’s only August, so I’ll give myself some grace because these things take time. However, the place I thought I would be at this point when it comes to the goals that were made for 2023 is totally different from where I actually am. I feel like I have to start over with everything…like every single thing. I feel as if I have to start over with where I am with my friendships, with my body/healthcare, with my content creation…with me. It’s a lot and I have A LOT of work to do!

Along with these things, I discovered that my 10-year high school reunion is coming up VERY soon! I can’t even believe that it’s been 10 years! What is going on with time and can someone PLEASE rewind it back!? Though I do have some people that I would love to see again, I have no plans on going to this reunion. I just feel like there’s nothing I have to show for at THIS moment in time. It’s crazy because you see television shows where people are talking about their high school reunions and they’re debating on not going because they’ve gained weight or didn’t end up this super successful, rich person their classmates thought they would be. It all just seems so silly until it’s your turn. I can’t deny that I have so much to be proud of, but I’m just not in the mental headspace to surround myself in that environment. With that said, I’m currently working on…well…everything. It all takes a step at a time, some techniques for patience, and absolutely a lot of tears.