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Diary Entry #26

Dear Diary,

The other day I was checking the calendar to see how many more Sundays were left in the month because I had yet to really write out an actual list of topics for the month. As I checked, I counted three Sundays left in August…three…THREE. As I sat in shock and awe, it kind of made me think of how time is just zooming by and things are almost becoming a blur. So much is happening…and not happening…yet, it just feels like time is going by and what we ARE experiencing is just…normal. But it’s not. None of it is.

There is STILL justice that needs to be served. Breonna Taylor was murdered over 100 days ago..I believe we’re at 120+ now, and we haven’t gotten anywhere. How does that happen when you know the exact people who are responsible!? People have sucked themselves back into the cycle that is police brutality. The cycle goes something like this:

Black life is taken -> riots and protests start -> the news covers the fresh action -> people share information all over social media on BLM -> no justice is yet to be served -> time passes -> news stops covering no longer fresh action -> people are tired of sharing -> justice continues to not be served -> another black life has fallen through the cracks again

As much as some people need to have another life taken and broadcasted as a reminder to care about things like this happening on the constant, all I have to do is look down at my skin. As if that’s not enough, let’s add on Corona. Do you know what’s crazy? I sometimes have to remind myself that we’re still in a pandemic. It’s not because I’ve just been going out and living normal life, but because everyone else is. I’m going insane, having my mental health compromised on occasion, but I stay in more often than not because I’m not trying to catch miss rona and I’m not trying to risk bringing it home either. I’m introverted and will cancel plans in a heartbeat, but having grocery store trips become almost the ONLY place that I go!? It’s not healthy for me. I miss my bestfriends, I miss sitting in the coffee shops downtown sometimes to do work.

I do live in Georgia where everything is open, but I just can’t get myself to just fully go out and live normally, because it’s not normal. In what world is it normal to have wearing masks mandatory or highly suggested? Where is it normal to get looks if you don’t have a mask on your face?? I would sure like to know. It’s not normal and I rather be inside than try to live “normally” while having my air entrapped with a mask. People are in clubs…CLUBS! Clubs should be the number one place to stay away from right now if nowhere else.

This is just a weird time and, outside of the issues within the world, I have my own personal things going on. At the end of the day, I’m just trying to make it through with hopes of having a story to tell at the end of it all.

Comments

  1. I find myself asking myself is this the new normal and it’s frightening to think that it might be our new normal for a long time . BLM is also an ongoing movement . We have to just keep praying we see better days .

    • It’s very frightening to think about for sure. And yes praying, protesting, signing petitions…we just have to keep it going. Thanks for reading ♥

    • It’s insane for sure. And yea it can put a lot of things in perspective. I hope you remain safe as well love! Thanks for reading ♥

  2. Hi Deandra! I can’t understand what is going on with Breona Taylor … all I can think is that the Governor and Atty General are hoping enough time passes and we forget? They are finally moving forward with Elijah McCain, but it shouldn’t be a fight … it should just be.
    There is a lot of fear out there and I know even with my own kids, once they started getting out, it got easier. Don’t let fear win! I honestly believe, as long as you do the right thing, you will be ok. Even if you go have coffee with your friends, bring your own clorox wipes and clean the table – whatever you need to do to feel safe. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks – you do you. xoxo

    • Exactly! It shouldn’t have to be a situation where it’s like we’re pulling teeth for justice. Every little win is still a win though, but goodness. And you’re right. I did hang with my friends once for my friend’s birthday. We went out to eat for lunch where we ate outside. It was so nice to just have fun with them again!

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