The journey to loving yourself is one that can be long and is certainly not linear in the least. Once you’ve reached that point of falling in love with yourself, it’s an amazing feeling! However, sometimes we find ourselves falling out love with ourselves and that’s okay. Things happen and it’s easy to get back into those habits you had before you started loving yourself.
It’s also easy, especially if it’s been a while, to forget what you did to start loving yourself and how to get back to that place. Sometimes you also need to try something you didn’t try the first time. It’s fall now, so why not start FALLing back in love with yourself again by trying these tips!?
Remember that you’re human.
This just may not be news to you, but you’re human. I know…you’re probably thinking “well duh!” but we as humans often forget what it really means to be…human. To be human means that there will be plenty of mistakes made. When I say plenty, I mean plenty of mistakes! I’m sure you’ve made them yourself already and some of them could have a part in why you’ve fallen out of love with yourself. Maybe you just don’t like the mistakes you’ve made…or keep making. You’re not a computer. In fact, even computers make mistakes. If they can make simple errors then what makes you think that you can’t!? Don’t punish yourself for something you can’t control. And you can’t control being human.
Show yourself some grace.
Showing yourself some grace goes perfectly along with remembering that you’re human. Once you’re able to accept the fact it’s inevitable that you’re going to make mistakes, it’s important to learn how to show yourself grace for the mistakes you do make. You’re not always going to be the fastest at something, greatest at everything, or know it all. You’re never going to be the perfect child, spouse, friend, etc. because it’s impossible. No matter how much people like to push perfection on others, no one is perfect. Don’t let others pushing you to be perfect cause you to hate yourself because you can’t be that person. Don’t let YOU push yourself to self-hatred because you can’t be that person. Show yourself the same grace that you’d show anyone else.
Acknowledge the parts of yourself that you don’t like.
It’s important to acknowledge what you like about yourself/your body, but it’s also important to acknowledge what you don’t like about yourself as well. I’m sure right now you’re saying “why in the world would I do that!?” Well, let’s think about it. If you only acknowledge the parts of you that you like, that just leaves the other parts sitting there being ignored. The thing is…they’re a part of you. Which means, you can’t just dodge them like the ex that just won’t leave you alone. Unlike with the ex, you have no choice but to learn to accept and love those parts as well. Think about it. Imagine you’re currently on your journey of falling in love with yourself again and you’ve done everything but love those parts that are hard for you to love. Once you get to them or they come up, imagine how far back those steps are going to become…instantly. You’re going to go from self-love to downing yourself in seconds. Take time to acknowledge the things that are just a pain and try to find something beautiful in it. It’s part of who you are so there goes one thing already for you! It won’t be easy the first few rounds, but you might surprise yourself the more you do it every single day.
Speak positivity to yourself daily.
Positive affirmations have been brought up quite often these past two years on my blog and it’s because they’re important. It’s important to say positive things to yourself every single day. Some may see or think that it’s a whole ritual and that it’s too much to do, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Speaking positivity to yourself could be as simple as looking in the mirror and saying “damn, I look good as hell!” You’re affirming that you look good as hell (and you do). Let’s say that you have a friend that constantly told you how ugly, dumb, and slow you are…would you still want to be their friend? I would hope not. Now, what makes you think you’re going to have a chance of falling in love with yourself again if you continue to use those kinds of words? It’s easy to slip up and say something negative, but you have to catch it and counter it with something positive. You spent all this time tearing yourself down, well now it’s time to build yourself back up.
Keep others out of your relationship.
This is a big one…take note.
You know how people are always talking about keeping others out of your relationship and how important it is? This applies to your own relationship with yourself as well. Hear me out…not everyone needs to know about your journey. In fact, you don’t have to tell anyone that you’ve even fallen out of love with yourself to begin with. The only people I suggest are Jesus (if you believe in him) and your therapist (if you can afford one). I say this for multiple reasons, but the main reason is that no one can understand your relationship but you. Yes, you have close friends and family that can know all about you and truly care for you, but who sees you when you’re all alone? This is the most intimate relationship you can have, and let’s be honest, outside words can affect us almost instantly at times. This is especially true if it’s from someone you love. There’s a reason why you often see people say that they need to get away to work on themselves. The bond you form with yourself is yours and yours alone. Never let anyone come in between that or it’ll ruin the progress of the journey.
Spend time alone with yourself.
Now, it’s all about that one on one time. Not everyone likes to do this, but spending time with yourself and taking yourself out on dates is the best way to fall in love all over again. You may think that you spend time alone all of the time, but do you? Have you ever enjoyed a nice meal at a restaurant alone? Have you ever just been to the park and sat alone to read a book or feed the ducks? You’d be surprised at how much you learn about yourself! To fall in love with oneself is to also learn self-discovery. It can also help you clear your head when things are just too cloudy up there. You have to learn to love being in the presence of your own company. Learn to value who you are when people are around and when it’s just you and you alone.
Learning how to love yourself is a hard journey for most, but the feeling you get when you succeed is so rewarding. Falling back into those self-hatred habits doesn’t mean you failed…it just means you have some work to do. You did it once. You can do it again.
Have you noticed yourself falling out of love with who you are? What tips have you tried to get back on track?