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3 Ways I Keep Myself From Breaking Down Mentally

Before I begin, please take a quick moment of silence for black lives continually being lost to police brutality before you continue.

Thank you.

I just felt it was needed, because it’s a never ending battle and it’s very tiring. When I was coming up with this blog post idea/title, I had a different route in mind. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to go forward with this post because I felt like it was too similar to other mental health related posts on here. However, it’s important to talk about it.

There’s so much that has gone on already this year. Justice still hasn’t been served and there’s still so much going on…and then you see it…another black man has been shot yet again by police. What’s even worse is that he’s been shot in front of his children. This man’s name is Jacob Blake. If you want to read the story on him, then please do so. As of this moment, he’s still alive and possibly paralyzed from the waist down. To be alive is a blessing, but now he’s potentially paralyzed, will be dealing with this trauma, and now his kids are going to be dealing with this trauma as well.

So much injustice is in this world, making it hard, for the black community especially, to not break down mentally. Not only are we not cared for as adults, but black children aren’t cared for either. Our lives matter and it’s so sad to have to fight so hard just to live.

So, not only is there all of this injustice, there are personal matters such as: issues at work, your health in general, natural disasters, and so much more. Take in all of those things people are dealing with and it seems practically impossible to keep from breaking down mentally…in fact…it is. The title of this isn’t to show you how to keep from breaking down ever again in life. Instead, it’s what helps me stay strong when I need to in that moment and kind of ground myself. It’s so hard to keep certain thoughts out of our head and during this time, I want to help others who may only have those thoughts or are at a point to where they can’t take it anymore.

1. Unwind

Sometimes I’ve just had enough for the day. With so much building up and so many emotions going on, I just need to unwind. This looks different for everyone. Some people may need to do some form of stretching or Yoga, some may like to do face masks and other pampering techniques, and others just watch TV with a snack until they fall asleep. I like to do the latter. I typically like to watch YouTube while eating something. I’m an emotional eater, so when I’m overwhelmed or going through a lot emotionally, food is usually my go to.

2. Cry

Some people think that I don’t cry or wouldn’t cry in certain situations, but I do. I just don’t cry in front of others typically. Instead of holding it in, let it out. If you don’t cry in that moment, then it will all build up and that’s really when the mental breakdowns will become even more than you can bear. It’s okay and normal for ANYONE to cry…this means men and women. Everyone feels and has emotions.

3. Write

This blog really has been a great way to express my feelings and thoughts. I’m terrible at vocally saying how I feel, and I don’t talk to people often about my feelings (I know, I should practice what I preach to you guys). Writing it out for me has been a great outlet. Whether I would write my poetry or just making a blog post, it can be really helpful. To some, maybe talking to others is best. Letting it out overall and speaking about what’s going on in so helpful. This is especially when you find people going through similar things you are.

Those are just a few things I do. If you’re dealing with any trauma or mental illnesses, please go talk to a professional. Doing these things can help for a moment, but they aren’t solutions for something that could last a lifetime.

Lastly, please keep protesting, signing petitions, donating, and staying informed. This year, every time I hear a new case, it hits harder than the last. Continue to fight for the community and remember to take care of yourselves.

Links to help:


  1. Thank you for sharing this Queen, I hope you’re doing okay during these stressful times. Sending love and light your way, I’ll always be here if you need an ear or a [digital] shoulder to lean on. We will make this world a better place one post at a time<3

    • Thank you beautiful. I hope you’re during ok as well and is taking care of yourself. I’m always here for you also, and as long as we have our platforms, we can continue to be a part of the movement and use our voices to inform and make a change ♥

  2. Thank you so much for writing this, Deandra. The world can seem like a very terrible place right now (and it is, at times) and it can all be so overwhelming. Thank you for sharing these tips and saying that it’s okay to cry and express yourself (whether just by writing it down for yourself or talking to a professional or a friend). That’s something we don’t talk about enough (our feelings, our hurt) and feel like we can share. I hope that can change because I think right now talking about things has been proven to finally bring about some change. For ourselves and for the world.

    Brilliant post and I hope you’re doing okay right now <3 Thank you for bringing light to these current issues but also helping others at the same time. You're incredible! (I'm nominating you for TED Talk in the future!)

    • Me for TED talk!? I would be honored lol. But thank you so much, I hope you’re doing ok as well. Opening up and talking about things really is so important for change inside, and out in the world. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts ♥

  3. Thanks for sharing your tips. With everything that’s going on in the world right now it’s definitely hard to keep it together some days. Everytime I check my email and see a new case or petition my mood drops. Crying and journaling have been my go-to’s lately. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed I go in my room, turn off the lights, and lights some candles. Then I let everything out. I’m holding to the hope that things will get better and that change is coming. I hope you’re doing well and I’m sending lots of good vibes your way.

    • I get emails about different cases and petitions as well. Just seeing the title in my notifications bar gets me, so sometimes I can’t even get myself to read the entire email. It’s good to express those emotions, so I’m glad to hear you have safe ways of doing so. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to as well. Sending lots of love and good vibes your also love ♥

  4. I think we all need to cry. This year has hit everyone hard for so so many reasons and I know we just want it over with, but it’s far more important to acknowledge those feelings and process them. Crying is a first step. Talking about it, writing in a journal or creatively is another step and stepping up to help bring about change is a third. I don’t know if there’s more steps, or if we can all take all of the steps, but it’s important to do step one. Some don’t cry easily and that’s okay but acknowledging those feelings and feeling them is a must.


    • Wow, thank you for saying that. I agree 100%. Keeping it all in will only lead to destruction. In order to heal, we first must feel ♥

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