Before I start getting into this post, I’d like to say Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers out there in their child’s lives. This includes step-fathers, grandfathers, hell even teachers. If you’re a father figure to someone, whether you know it or not, you deserve this day and all the praise beyond this day as well. This also goes to my granddad who has been in my life since birth and I will always love, cherish, and appreciate him for not only showing me what a real father and husband is, but for always being there for me.
Now to the matter at hand…absent fathers. I didn’t want to take away the shine of the men that step their game up and do what they need to do, but as a person who’s a victim of having an absent father, I believe it’s important to discuss. When I was a child, I would sometimes see my cousin with her dad. He’d take her places when he’d visit (due to some circumstances he lived in a separate state than her but always remained in her life) and I’d be so jealous. I would want to come along when they went out but I couldn’t. He was her dad. Not mine. I’d like to believe my dad tried his best to make somewhat of an effort. He would pop out of nowhere sometimes and visit. I’d say I’ve seen him maybe a good 3 times…give or take. But that’s the thing, you can’t just come and go out of your child’s life. It doesn’t matter what’s going on, staying in contact and keeping a relationship with your child is so important and so necessary. If any men are reading this, please remember that it takes two to tango and that child is just as much of a responsibility to you as it is to the mother.
A father being in a child’s life could make so much of a difference. Yes the mother may seem to be the most needed often when it comes to the nurturing side (not always true by the way) but what about when your son needs a father figure to look up too to do things that mom’s might not know how naturally or what about the father daughter dance your daughter is dying to take part in? Fathers, your child needs you. In the end you may regret it once it’s too late and they have put you as a thing in the past or even titled you as just a “sperm donor”. As far as my opinion goes, I think I’ve reached the level of no return. Which is where I have no opinion at all. No opinion and no feelings towards my dad. He called once when I was in high school, which I believe it’s been many years since the last time I’ve talked to him or seen his face before that time. I was asked if I had any questions, but I didn’t. I just didn’t care anymore and I still don’t. Wherever he is, I hope he’s safe and living his life the best he can because I sure am. At some point you have to stop holding animosity towards these absent “fathers”. They had a choice and they made it. Celebrate the men who are there instead. The one’s who aren’t missed out on something truly special. They missed out on years that they can never get back of seeing their child grow up and become the best person they could be.
So all you fathers and father figures out there who chose to take on the responsibility instead of run away from it…Here’s to you!